Day 10

Detoxing is all the rage these days. 

Let’s shift gears with it though. Instead of detoxing from the scary, toxic world out there (which, by the way, I find this mentality really negative + fear mongering, just saying) we are going to detox from some of our own thoughts. 

You’ve heard me talk about that mean girl voice living in your head, right? 

Well as much as we might want to beat her off with a stick + call her names, that’s no way to treat her. Plus, then we’re just playing her game.

Each time you find yourself angry + upset with yourself, she shows up. We have this mean girl for a reason though. And it’s not all bad.

She is trying to protect you. She’s your ego + she doesn’t want you to be humiliated or fail or be embarrassed or vulnerable or imperfect. So she usually wants NOTHING to change. 

She also got a lot of her information from other people. Things you heard as a little girl, things that may not be true, that other people assumed or made opinions about. Things the world has told her about what is OK + what is not OK about being a woman, married, single, old, young, mother, or not. Her intentions are good, but her information is biased. 

Here’s an example if this isn’t clicking: 

When I met my husband I was in quite a bit of debt. Irresponsible credit card debt. At that time I was ashamed of this + I believed I was really bad with money. I couldn’t be trusted is what I thought. I had no budgeting skills + didn’t have a consistent income as a personal trainer. Once we were married my debt was paid off + I got a new car + we owned a home, all with money he was making. I thought I got lucky. But my story, the one my mean girl knew so well, hadn’t changed. I had the exact same beliefs about myself. I wasn’t good with money, so I would feel guilty every time I bought something + I let my husband deal with the money stuff because clearly I didn’t know what I was doing.

Learning about our stories helps us let them go. Just because I lacked some practical money skills in my early 20s doesn’t mean I can NEVER be trusted. Changing that story, forgiving my younger self has been hugely healing + now I take responsibility in every financial decision, I feel worthy + powerful + pay close attention to how we spend money so there is no sneaking + no guilt between us. 

These beliefs are SO powerful. I see it happen with women in health all the time. They accept the story that THEY can’t stay on a diet or keep weight off (not true, diets, by nature create decreases in weight followed by dramatic increases). That there is no hope, they take their current reality as proof (and lack of faith) that anything can change. 

Your power is so big + once you accept that + believe the possibilities, you can do anything. 

I'm not blowing fluffy, woo-woo smoke up your ass (sorry, not sorry). I've seen it happen over + over + over (and I might be writing a book about it this year + also, I believe I can write a book).

What you believe changes your cells, changes your energy + changes your life. 

If you told yourself everyday that you are lazy, fat + unlovable that’s exactly how you would experience + continue to create your life. 

Our mental detox:

Taking a break from the negative input by practice our storytelling + truth telling abilities.

What if you had to give a speech? Most people are deathly terrified of public speaking. Before you speak your mean girl will show up with her guns blazing, kind of like this:

“You don’t know what you’re talking about. You’ll forget what to say. Nobody will like you. Your voice is shaking. Everyone knows you’re a fraud. You look super fat in these pants. This is a terrible idea. You should run. You might die. Fake an illness. Save yourself the humiliation.”

Ah, there she is, trying to protect you. Tell her, “Thanks, girl, but I’ve got this.” Then tell a different story, put yourself back in the driver's seat:

  • I can give a speech + I know I’m nervous, most people get just as nervous as I am. Then you give that speech.
  • I actually just got a blood test back + I’m super healthy, how great is that?! 
  • It has been hard for me to exercise in the past, but I’m taking it a day at a time, today I’m going for a walk.
  • I had a really hard time dealing with finances when I was younger + that was a difficult time in my life. I’m glad I’m in a better place, I want to do better now.
  • These pants feel really tight today. I’m going to put on some leggings, a cute sweater, my favorite earrings + some lipstick. That will make me feel really good. 

Do you see how sticking to the mean girl story could cause you a ton of anxiety + worry, but changing your outlook could turn your whole day or life around? Built up over tiny moments of believing in yourself + saying YES even when you don't know "how" you create the life + world you want to live in.

Use the PDF to acknowledge some of your “regular” stories + see if you can start infusing them with more truth, acceptance + love. Again, this is a long term practice, not a one day magic pill, but it will start to feel like magic, believe me.

What story are you ready to stop telling yourself + what do you want to believe in?

xo, 

Nik



MINDSET MAKEOVER

I am a powerful creator of my life. What I believe becomes what I live.